In the Introduction, you need
I. Attention – you do have this
II. A clear purpose statement of what you are planning to convince us to do. This is not provided. You are on the fence
III. Roman numeral III should be your credibility, which is vital. It is missing. It should be….I am credible to speak on this topic because….and then name some of your sources. Please do this when you speak so you do not lose these points again.
In the Body, we are following MMS. It should be
II. Solution …you have more of the issue
III. Visualization of the future if we do or do not follow the solution.
You have pros and cons and a solution, but this is not the MMS format.
In the conclusion, you need two Roman Numerals
I. Call to action. This is where you ask us to do something very specific
II. Concluding remark….which is what you currently have
Needed 6 sources.
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